We had our last course on Friday. It was really good and I felt we got more information from this one and felt it related more to our cause.
We spoke a lot about attachment issues and bonding and I definitely came away with some good advice.
We found that out of all the people on our course we were the only ones that had gone as far as we had and others still had not decided on where to adopt from.
There seem to be a lot of age restrictions in some countries and some countries have some very strange restrictions (like religion).
I'm glad we had already decided on where to adopt from but now I would like to adopt our second child from China - I guess we have to get through the first adoption first though.
Wednesday we have our final social worker visit and hopefully she will be able to produce out home study pretty quickly so then we can move to the next step and that is applying to ICANZ.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Friday, July 6, 2007
Day 2 of our Course
Well day 2 came around quite quickly, it hardly seems like it was 3 weeks ago we did our first course.
This course was very positive about adoption, we watched a new DVD produced by Adoption Option Trust (which we are purchasing) and spoke to an adopted person.
His story was amazing and very informative. His main concerns for adoptive parents is that they are 100% sure they want to adopt and that they have grieved the fact that they cant have biological children and the two parties communicate. His story was sad because his adoptive parents had never grieved that they could not have biological children and he felt like the band aid trying to fix the wound. As much as this affected him he was so very positive about his experience as an adopted person and would not have changed anything. He was very inspired and I could have sat there all day listening to him.
Day 2 was no where near as mentally exhausting as Day 1 and now we are just waiting to complete Day 3 and then have our final meeting with our Social Worker at our house.
Ive been reading some interesting books on adoption and foster care (which is something I would like to do in the future) which have inspired me even more and confirmed that Mark and I are doing the right thing.
This course was very positive about adoption, we watched a new DVD produced by Adoption Option Trust (which we are purchasing) and spoke to an adopted person.
His story was amazing and very informative. His main concerns for adoptive parents is that they are 100% sure they want to adopt and that they have grieved the fact that they cant have biological children and the two parties communicate. His story was sad because his adoptive parents had never grieved that they could not have biological children and he felt like the band aid trying to fix the wound. As much as this affected him he was so very positive about his experience as an adopted person and would not have changed anything. He was very inspired and I could have sat there all day listening to him.
Day 2 was no where near as mentally exhausting as Day 1 and now we are just waiting to complete Day 3 and then have our final meeting with our Social Worker at our house.
Ive been reading some interesting books on adoption and foster care (which is something I would like to do in the future) which have inspired me even more and confirmed that Mark and I are doing the right thing.
First Meeting
Our first meeting with our social worker went really well. We discussed our self assessments, the reason why we decided on adoption , why we decided on Thailand, how our family and friends reacted and the steps going forward.
Some say this is quite a nerve racking and hard experience meeting your social worker and going through the emotions of loss and grief of not having natural children but I guess we found it very easy as it was our decision not to go ahead with any fertility treatments.
Next step day 2 of our course.
Some say this is quite a nerve racking and hard experience meeting your social worker and going through the emotions of loss and grief of not having natural children but I guess we found it very easy as it was our decision not to go ahead with any fertility treatments.
Next step day 2 of our course.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Paper Work!
After our first course our social worker emailed through more paper work for us to complete - a self assessment.
Surprisingly I found this very easy to complete.
My advise to anyone who is considering adopting and gets to complete these forms is to be as honest as you can. There are no right or wrong answers.
The questions are only there so your Social Worker can get to know you better, your thought processes and a bit about your history and what you are made off. Do not be scared of this form.
Next step - a meeting with our social worker to discuss this form.
Surprisingly I found this very easy to complete.
My advise to anyone who is considering adopting and gets to complete these forms is to be as honest as you can. There are no right or wrong answers.
The questions are only there so your Social Worker can get to know you better, your thought processes and a bit about your history and what you are made off. Do not be scared of this form.
Next step - a meeting with our social worker to discuss this form.
First Course
We attended our first course on 8th June 2007. Exhausted is one word for how I felt, another would have been sad.
Our group consisted off about 14 couples and a single women. They were all there for various reasons and but we all wanted the same thing.
We watched a lot of videos on closed adoption from the childs point of view and the adopted parents point of view. Some of these were very sad, but the most emotional would have been the stories birth mothers had to tell. Its amazing what they go through emotionally and we saw this through these videos.
We also spoke to a couple who had adopted a child within NZ and heard their story and met their young child - their story was amazing and the have a great relationship with the birth mother.
From our first course we worked out that we were the only ones adopting from Thailand, another couple are looking at inter country but haven't made up their mind where and the single person was also adopting inter country.
It was a very informative course, and although it mainly touched on NZ adoption they still discussed inter country adoption.
Roll on day 2.
Our group consisted off about 14 couples and a single women. They were all there for various reasons and but we all wanted the same thing.
We watched a lot of videos on closed adoption from the childs point of view and the adopted parents point of view. Some of these were very sad, but the most emotional would have been the stories birth mothers had to tell. Its amazing what they go through emotionally and we saw this through these videos.
We also spoke to a couple who had adopted a child within NZ and heard their story and met their young child - their story was amazing and the have a great relationship with the birth mother.
From our first course we worked out that we were the only ones adopting from Thailand, another couple are looking at inter country but haven't made up their mind where and the single person was also adopting inter country.
It was a very informative course, and although it mainly touched on NZ adoption they still discussed inter country adoption.
Roll on day 2.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Info Night
After thinking we would have to wait for 2 months till our info night CYFS rang to advise we could come to the next one which was only 1 month from our initial enquiry - you can imagine how excited I was at not having to wait too long.
The info night was extremely informative, mostly just an introduction to adoption and went over some basic fact and numbers of adoptions in New Zealand and talked a little about inter country adoption.
At the end of the night we received and "application pack" to complete and send back - this also had the dates of the adoption courses and as I wanted to get onto the next one coming up (one month after the info night) we raced home to complete the forms and I had delivered them the next day to CYFS. We had to complete and application form with basic info about ourselves, a criminal police check form and we need to have medicals completed - medicals weren't that important to hand in straight to get on the course so we held onto these.
One week later CYFS wrote to us to confirm that we were on the next adoption courses starting beginning of June, there were 2 courses for those who were adopting in New Zealand and 3 for those adopting inter country.
So then started the countdown for the courses.
Around this time I else met with another couple adopting from Thailand - she was waiting for a referral and advised that it is a long waiting game but would surely be worth while.
The info night was extremely informative, mostly just an introduction to adoption and went over some basic fact and numbers of adoptions in New Zealand and talked a little about inter country adoption.
At the end of the night we received and "application pack" to complete and send back - this also had the dates of the adoption courses and as I wanted to get onto the next one coming up (one month after the info night) we raced home to complete the forms and I had delivered them the next day to CYFS. We had to complete and application form with basic info about ourselves, a criminal police check form and we need to have medicals completed - medicals weren't that important to hand in straight to get on the course so we held onto these.
One week later CYFS wrote to us to confirm that we were on the next adoption courses starting beginning of June, there were 2 courses for those who were adopting in New Zealand and 3 for those adopting inter country.
So then started the countdown for the courses.
Around this time I else met with another couple adopting from Thailand - she was waiting for a referral and advised that it is a long waiting game but would surely be worth while.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Beginning of the Journey
Okay, so we have made up our mind to adopt - what next. I initially found a website www.icanz.org.nz which was extremely informative and started emailing ICANZ to find out a little bit more and to see if they could put me in contact with others adopting. We decided on Thailand as our country - mainly due to our fave restaurant being Thai, we love the food and the people are fantastic, plus we have a holiday planned there for September this year.
ICANZ were great and contacted to other couples who were in the adoption process who were more then willing to meet us and talk about thier experiences an where they were at.
After meeting the first couple and hearing thier story they showed us photos of their child which made it so real and made me even more determined to go ahead with an adoption from Thailand. It still amazes me at how emotional I felt seeing a picture of thier child - I dont know why but I expected a skinny, unhealthy, unloved child and yet this child looked like any other loved child of its age. For those who read this and know me, you will all know that Im not an emotional person and yet here was this little child that almost made me cry just looking at him and thinking what he may have gone through. After meeting his adoptive parents, I know this child is going to have all the love he can possibly get and then some.
They advised us to get in contact with CYFS as soon as possible even if we werent 100% sure we wanted to go ahead but it was to give us more of an idea of other countries and what we would need to go through. They advised it may take some time to get on the Intro night which is the first thing you need to do.
The very next day I rang CYFS to find out what we needed to do to register for the intro night, they were fantastic to deal with and sent out confirmation of the next course that we would be on - some 2 months after our initial enquiry.
ICANZ were great and contacted to other couples who were in the adoption process who were more then willing to meet us and talk about thier experiences an where they were at.
After meeting the first couple and hearing thier story they showed us photos of their child which made it so real and made me even more determined to go ahead with an adoption from Thailand. It still amazes me at how emotional I felt seeing a picture of thier child - I dont know why but I expected a skinny, unhealthy, unloved child and yet this child looked like any other loved child of its age. For those who read this and know me, you will all know that Im not an emotional person and yet here was this little child that almost made me cry just looking at him and thinking what he may have gone through. After meeting his adoptive parents, I know this child is going to have all the love he can possibly get and then some.
They advised us to get in contact with CYFS as soon as possible even if we werent 100% sure we wanted to go ahead but it was to give us more of an idea of other countries and what we would need to go through. They advised it may take some time to get on the Intro night which is the first thing you need to do.
The very next day I rang CYFS to find out what we needed to do to register for the intro night, they were fantastic to deal with and sent out confirmation of the next course that we would be on - some 2 months after our initial enquiry.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)